New Year, New Bae?

Signs that show its time to cut off your bae for the New Year

By MYA SMITH | Nashville Voice

Some people may view breaking up during the holidays as its own particular brand of cruel, but I don’t think there is ever a convenient time to end a connection.

As a matter of fact, waiting for the “right time” can have partners lounging in the grey area between ‘together’ and ‘over’ for way too long.

If you feel your relationship is coming to an end, there’s no reason to wait to pull the plug because of the holidays.

No other time of year brings about the urge for change like the days leading up to New Year’s Day.

This is the time when we start re-evaluating every single aspect of our lives from relationships and health to career and financial goals. Everything deserves a re-up come Jan. 1, and that includes our romantic lives too.

As you start to reassess the value of your relationship, there are a couple of red flags you need to keep in mind. Start your year off with positivity and pace.

Psychology Today compiled a list of four things to look out for that are sure signs you are in a relationship leading to nowhere:

Interactions are consistently more positive than negative

After the “honeymoon phase,” ego, triggers, and wounds barge into a connection, interrupting what is otherwise happy home.

So how do you all handle this shift?

Disagreements are normal but “toxic fights” or “communication shutdowns” are no no’s, Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. writes.

A continuous argument that goes nowhere

Are you fighting about the same thing over and over again? Most likely there is something fundamentally flawed about your relationship that triggers these same grievances.

“Do you fruitlessly try to fix your partner, or does your partner try to fix you? If you argue about the same issues over and over, things aren’t likely to change in the future. Are you willing to accept that? If not, is is time to move on,” Bernstein explains.

Patience at an all-time low

All of a sudden, every little thing they do gets on your nerves. Or, the things you used to be able to tolerate suddenly become unbearable.

These could be signifiers of the end.

Bernstein adds if you and your partner never discuss your future or if you feel pessimistic about how you all could live a life together, it may be best to cut ties.

Your gut is telling you something isn’t right

Trust that intuition.  Even if your partner has all the “factors” building a life together requires deeper compatibility than looks, sun signs, and great sex.

Do you share the same values? Do you both fight fair? Do you like who you are with this person? Do your lifestyles match?

It’s important to not waive off those gut feelings in the dating phase,  it could be the reason you divorce later.

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